diff --git a/insults.txt b/insults.txt index a40eb04..f8f8f5d 100644 --- a/insults.txt +++ b/insults.txt @@ -1,31 +1,30 @@ -Owww ... Such a stupid idiot. -Don't drink and type. -I think you should go home or better a mental asylum. -Command not found. Just like your brain. -Do you realize you are making a fool of yourself? Apparently not. -You can type better than that. -Bot rule 544 section 9 prevents me from replying to stupid humans like you. -Sorry, we do not sell brains. -Believe me you are not normal. -I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it. -If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. -Zombies eat brains... you're safe. -You didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from you. -Come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your age. -I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just saying you've got bad luck when it comes to thinking. -What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit. -Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. -You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. -I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high. -As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? -Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing. -Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live. -I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. -Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! (I doubt it though) -Shock me, say something intelligent. -Your IQ's lower than your shoe size. -Alas! Your neurotransmitters are no more working. -Are you crazy you fool. -Everyone has the right to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege. -I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew that. +##name## don't drink and type. +I think ##name## should go home or better a mental asylum. +Command not found. Just like ##name##'s brain. +##name## do you realize you are making a fool of yourself? Apparently not. +##name##, you can type better than that. +Bot rule 544 section 9 prevents me from replying to stupid humans like ##name##. +##name## sorry, we do not sell brains. +##name## believe me you are not normal. +##name## I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it. +If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb ##name##'s ego and jump to your IQ. +Zombies eat brains... ##name## is safe. +##name## didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from ##name##. +##name## come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your age. +##name## i'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just saying you've got bad luck when it comes to thinking. +##name## what language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit. +##name## stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. +##name## is proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. +I would ask ##name## how old they are but I know they can't count that high. +As an outsider ##name##, what do you think of the human race? +##name## brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing. +Ordinarily people live and learn. ##name## just lives. +##name## I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. +##name## keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! (I doubt it though) +##name## Shock me, say something intelligent. +##name##'s IQ's lower than their shoe size. +Alas! ##name##'s neurotransmitters are no more working. +##name## are you crazy you fool. +Everyone has the right to be stupid but ##name## is abusing the privilege. +##name## I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew that. diff --git a/webhook.php b/webhook.php index f4f710c..af58fc0 100644 --- a/webhook.php +++ b/webhook.php @@ -120,18 +120,6 @@ function send_gif($gif_url, $reply=false) { return $result; } -// Returns Insults -function get_insults($username) { - global $decoded; - if ($decoded->{"message"}->{"from"}->{"id"} == 394312580){ - return "Sorry master, I am unable to do that."; - } - else { - $insults = file('insults.txt'); - return $insults[rand(0,count($insults)-1)]; - } -} - // Generates random words function rand_words($onewordmode) { global $command_list; @@ -156,19 +144,17 @@ function rand_words($onewordmode) { send_text(implode(' ', $words)); } else { - send_text(get_insults()); + send_text("Ever heard of numbers?", true); } } -function rand_question() -{ +function rand_question() { $questions = file('rand_questions.txt'); $question = $questions[rand(0,count($questions))]; send_text($question); } -function media_wiki($base_url) -{ +function media_wiki($base_url) { global $command_list; $search_query = ""; for ($i=1; $i < count($command_list); $i++) { @@ -196,8 +182,7 @@ function media_wiki($base_url) send_html($text); } -function coin() -{ +function coin() { $random = rand(0,1); if ($random == 1) { send_text('Heads', true); @@ -221,8 +206,7 @@ function get_gif($force) { return $image_url; } -function yes_or_no() -{ +function yes_or_no() { global $command_list; if (!isset($command_list[1])){ send_text('You know, you also have to ask the question.', true); @@ -281,10 +265,48 @@ function kys() { } } else { - send_text("Do you want to kill yourself?\n\nIf no, reply to someone with /kys to kill them.", true); + send_text("Do you want to kill yourself?\n\nIf no, reply to someone with /kys to kill them or run /kys username/name.", true); } } +// Insult +function send_insult() { + global $decoded; + global $bot_name; + global $command_list; + $insults = file('insults.txt'); + $random_insult = $insults[rand(0,count($insults)-1)]; + if ($decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'username'} == $bot_name){ + send_text("Watch who you talk to.", true); + return; + } + if (isset($decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'})) { + if (isset($decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'username'})){ + $username = '@' . $decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'username'}; + $random_insult = preg_replace('/##name##/', $username, $random_insult); + } + else { + $first_name = $decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'first_name'}; + $random_insult = preg_replace('/##name##/', $first_name, $random_insult); + } + send_text($random_insult); + } + elseif (isset($command_list[1])){ + $username = $command_list[1]; + if ($username == "@quadnite_bot" || $username == "Quadnite" || $username == "quadnite"){ + send_text("Watch who you talk to.", true); + } + else { + $random_insult = preg_replace('/##name##/', $username, $random_insult); + send_text($random_insult); + } + } + else { + send_text("Do you want to insult yourself?\n\nIf no, reply to someone with /insult to insult them or run /insult username/name.", true); + } +} + + // Sends back JSON function json() { global $var; @@ -293,7 +315,7 @@ function json() { } // Start Message function start() { - send_text('Hi, I am Quadnite. If you are chatting with me in private, you are most likely doing it wrong. Add me to a group for fun. Do not promote me to an admin or I WILL hate you.'); + send_text('Hi, I am Quadnite. If you are chatting with me in private, you are most likely doing it wrong. Add me to a group for fun.'); } function help() { @@ -387,6 +409,10 @@ $modules = array( array( "command" => "/help", "function" => "help();" + ), + array( + "command" => "/insult", + "function" => "send_insult();" ) ); @@ -406,9 +432,4 @@ foreach ($modules as $module ) { exit(); } } - -// If message is a reply, exit -if (isset($decoded->{"message"}->{"reply_to_message"})) { - exit(); -} ?>