diff --git a/insults.txt b/insults.txt index f8f8f5d..6f8960a 100644 --- a/insults.txt +++ b/insults.txt @@ -27,4 +27,43 @@ Alas! ##name##'s neurotransmitters are no more working. ##name## are you crazy you fool. Everyone has the right to be stupid but ##name## is abusing the privilege. ##name## I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew that. - +##name## you have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off? +##name## your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. +##name## remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither. +##name## if you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, ‘cause it’s gonna be a really long time. +##name## some day you’ll go far—and I really hope you stay there. +##name##I’m trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just can’t get my head that far up my ass. +##name## sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt. +##name## I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. +##name## you only annoy me when you’re breathing, really. +##name## Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case. +##name## I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce. +##name## Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right? +##name## Remember that time I said I thought you were cool? I lied. +##name## Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege. +##name## I can’t help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your dad had just pulled out. +##name## Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d gotten enough oxygen at birth? +##name## Please, save your breath. You’ll probably need it to blow up your next date. +##name## Can you die of constipation? I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are. +##name## Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? +##name## Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. +##name## Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen. +##name## Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated. +##name## If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart. +##name## Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot. +##name## Sorry, I didn’t get that. I don’t speak bullshit. +##name## The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait. +##name## If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. +##name## Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around? +##name## There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that. +##name## I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. +##name## I was pro life. Then I met you. +##name## You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. +##name## Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. +##name## It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. +##name## Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids. +##name## You always bring me so much joy—as soon as you leave the room. +##name## I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed. +##name## I’d tell you how I really feel, but I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to express myself in this case. +##name## Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go. +##name## I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment.