Add /insult. Refactor code.
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parent
967bfbef68
commit
e0d58a79de
59
insults.txt
59
insults.txt
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@ -1,31 +1,30 @@
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Owww ... Such a stupid idiot.
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##name## don't drink and type.
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Don't drink and type.
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I think ##name## should go home or better a mental asylum.
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I think you should go home or better a mental asylum.
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Command not found. Just like ##name##'s brain.
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Command not found. Just like your brain.
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##name## do you realize you are making a fool of yourself? Apparently not.
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Do you realize you are making a fool of yourself? Apparently not.
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##name##, you can type better than that.
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You can type better than that.
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Bot rule 544 section 9 prevents me from replying to stupid humans like ##name##.
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Bot rule 544 section 9 prevents me from replying to stupid humans like you.
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##name## sorry, we do not sell brains.
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Sorry, we do not sell brains.
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##name## believe me you are not normal.
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Believe me you are not normal.
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##name## I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.
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I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.
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If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb ##name##'s ego and jump to your IQ.
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If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
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Zombies eat brains... ##name## is safe.
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Zombies eat brains... you're safe.
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##name## didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from ##name##.
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You didn't evolve from apes, they evolved from you.
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##name## come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your age.
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Come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your age.
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##name## i'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just saying you've got bad luck when it comes to thinking.
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I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm just saying you've got bad luck when it comes to thinking.
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##name## what language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.
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What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.
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##name## stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.
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Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.
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##name## is proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
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You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
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I would ask ##name## how old they are but I know they can't count that high.
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I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
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As an outsider ##name##, what do you think of the human race?
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As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
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##name## brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.
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Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.
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Ordinarily people live and learn. ##name## just lives.
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Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
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##name## I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
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I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
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##name## keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! (I doubt it though)
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Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! (I doubt it though)
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##name## Shock me, say something intelligent.
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Shock me, say something intelligent.
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##name##'s IQ's lower than their shoe size.
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Your IQ's lower than your shoe size.
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Alas! ##name##'s neurotransmitters are no more working.
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Alas! Your neurotransmitters are no more working.
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##name## are you crazy you fool.
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Are you crazy you fool.
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Everyone has the right to be stupid but ##name## is abusing the privilege.
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Everyone has the right to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege.
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##name## I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew that.
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I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew that.
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77
webhook.php
77
webhook.php
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@ -120,18 +120,6 @@ function send_gif($gif_url, $reply=false) {
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return $result;
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return $result;
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}
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}
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// Returns Insults
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function get_insults($username) {
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global $decoded;
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if ($decoded->{"message"}->{"from"}->{"id"} == 394312580){
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return "Sorry master, I am unable to do that.";
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}
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else {
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$insults = file('insults.txt');
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return $insults[rand(0,count($insults)-1)];
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}
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}
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// Generates random words
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// Generates random words
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function rand_words($onewordmode) {
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function rand_words($onewordmode) {
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global $command_list;
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global $command_list;
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@ -156,19 +144,17 @@ function rand_words($onewordmode) {
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send_text(implode(' ', $words));
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send_text(implode(' ', $words));
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}
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}
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else {
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else {
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send_text(get_insults());
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send_text("Ever heard of numbers?", true);
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}
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}
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}
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}
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function rand_question()
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function rand_question() {
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{
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$questions = file('rand_questions.txt');
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$questions = file('rand_questions.txt');
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$question = $questions[rand(0,count($questions))];
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$question = $questions[rand(0,count($questions))];
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send_text($question);
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send_text($question);
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}
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}
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function media_wiki($base_url)
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function media_wiki($base_url) {
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{
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global $command_list;
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global $command_list;
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$search_query = "";
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$search_query = "";
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for ($i=1; $i < count($command_list); $i++) {
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for ($i=1; $i < count($command_list); $i++) {
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@ -196,8 +182,7 @@ function media_wiki($base_url)
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send_html($text);
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send_html($text);
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}
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}
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function coin()
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function coin() {
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{
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$random = rand(0,1);
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$random = rand(0,1);
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if ($random == 1) {
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if ($random == 1) {
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send_text('Heads', true);
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send_text('Heads', true);
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@ -221,8 +206,7 @@ function get_gif($force) {
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return $image_url;
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return $image_url;
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}
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}
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function yes_or_no()
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function yes_or_no() {
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{
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global $command_list;
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global $command_list;
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if (!isset($command_list[1])){
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if (!isset($command_list[1])){
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send_text('You know, you also have to ask the question.', true);
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send_text('You know, you also have to ask the question.', true);
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@ -281,10 +265,48 @@ function kys() {
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}
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}
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}
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}
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else {
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else {
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send_text("Do you want to kill yourself?\n\nIf no, reply to someone with /kys to kill them.", true);
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send_text("Do you want to kill yourself?\n\nIf no, reply to someone with /kys to kill them or run /kys username/name.", true);
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}
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}
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}
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}
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// Insult
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function send_insult() {
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global $decoded;
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global $bot_name;
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global $command_list;
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$insults = file('insults.txt');
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$random_insult = $insults[rand(0,count($insults)-1)];
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if ($decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'username'} == $bot_name){
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send_text("Watch who you talk to.", true);
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return;
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}
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if (isset($decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'})) {
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if (isset($decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'username'})){
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$username = '@' . $decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'username'};
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$random_insult = preg_replace('/##name##/', $username, $random_insult);
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}
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else {
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$first_name = $decoded->{'message'}->{'reply_to_message'}->{'from'}->{'first_name'};
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$random_insult = preg_replace('/##name##/', $first_name, $random_insult);
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}
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send_text($random_insult);
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}
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elseif (isset($command_list[1])){
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$username = $command_list[1];
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if ($username == "@quadnite_bot" || $username == "Quadnite" || $username == "quadnite"){
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send_text("Watch who you talk to.", true);
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}
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else {
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$random_insult = preg_replace('/##name##/', $username, $random_insult);
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send_text($random_insult);
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}
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}
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else {
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send_text("Do you want to insult yourself?\n\nIf no, reply to someone with /insult to insult them or run /insult username/name.", true);
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}
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}
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// Sends back JSON
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// Sends back JSON
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function json() {
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function json() {
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global $var;
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global $var;
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@ -293,7 +315,7 @@ function json() {
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}
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}
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// Start Message
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// Start Message
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function start() {
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function start() {
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send_text('Hi, I am Quadnite. If you are chatting with me in private, you are most likely doing it wrong. Add me to a group for fun. Do not promote me to an admin or I WILL hate you.');
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send_text('Hi, I am Quadnite. If you are chatting with me in private, you are most likely doing it wrong. Add me to a group for fun.');
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}
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}
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function help() {
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function help() {
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@ -387,6 +409,10 @@ $modules = array(
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array(
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array(
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"command" => "/help",
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"command" => "/help",
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"function" => "help();"
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"function" => "help();"
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),
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array(
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"command" => "/insult",
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"function" => "send_insult();"
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)
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)
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);
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);
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@ -406,9 +432,4 @@ foreach ($modules as $module ) {
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exit();
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exit();
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}
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}
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}
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}
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// If message is a reply, exit
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if (isset($decoded->{"message"}->{"reply_to_message"})) {
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exit();
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}
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?>
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?>
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